Voices of Truth

It starts so young.

If you were to think back to the first time someone discouraged you, to re-form the first memory you have of someone telling you that you weren't enough, you wouldn't have to dig very hard in your mind. Hey, maybe it's not hard to dig up at all, because it is attached to many subsequent memories where other voices spoke and reaffirmed this discouragement over you... some voices who purposely meant to tear you down, and some voices who had no idea that their words were ripping open a deep wound in your heart.

Could you do the same thing with your first memory of someone encouraging you?
Does it take longer?

I only ask because for myself, now "adult" by definition, I still hear clearly the voices of discouragement in my head... the voices that I heard when I was young.
They are not merely voices of schoolyard taunts... and while those exist, they are not so loud as the words spoken by voices of adults in my life growing up. Voices of teachers and church leaders and parents and whoever else had significant influence in my life... and somehow my capacity to retain the negative is pretty great.

I get that I was not an easy child. I know for anyone who had to teach or lead me in any capacity that I could be fairly unruly. I sought attention. I was loud and distracting.

I wasn't trying to be those things.
Truly, I was lost. I was lonely. I was desperate. I was acting out of unmet needs.

And I am not saying it is the responsibility of anyone to have filled those, and I am fortunate enough to have grown up in a home where I was loved, and where I was given the precious gift of seeing a relationship with Christ modeled.

I say this only because in my life, my acceptance of these lies from years ago has not been dealt with, and it's preventing me from moving forward into the fullness and freedom of what God has for me. Bigger than that, it is starting to sink in that I can't change what was said to me, but I can let it change how I speak to others.

Especially kids.
I volunteer in sunday school at my church, and to put it nicely, it is not an easy job. It's like a room full of little Jessicas. Loud. Crazy. Slightly unruly.
It's hard, and sometimes my nerves get stretched like a bungee cord... but when I step back and remember that I was just like them, and I realize that I have no idea what circumstances they are coming from and what needs in them that haven't been met, I am suddenly a thousand times more conscious of what is coming out of my mouth.

Because I don't want to be a voice of discouragement that they still remember when they are 21.
I want them to have felt loved for the time that I got to spend with them. I want to encourage them and celebrate the little things and have their respect, without speaking rashly when things get a little too nuts in there.

We have the amazing ability to speak truth and grace and love into people's lives. We can be the voice of encouragement that sticks out in a child's mind 20 years from now, just by cheering for them. We can help shape and mold the kids that will become leaders and shapers and encouragers... heck, we can do this with people older than us too!

I have torn down people's identities with harsh words and rash reactions... but my prayer is that God would empower and enable me (and all of us!) with His Holy Spirit to stamp out lies and bring freedom from those voices.

It all points back to the cross. Jesus showed us how much people are worth to Him when He died on the cross. He would have done it for one... but He did it for all.  Father God.... show us Your heart for people, so that we may love them with Your love where our love ceases to extend, and so that Your life-giving truth would be spoken with our voices.