I walked so far in one direction,
prostituted my perspective
to just one frame of mind.
I don't know just how far I've strayed
but the dark I made my hiding place
is savage, and unfriendly, and unkind.
I guess what I am asking You,
is can the doubter be redeemed,
will this blind girl ever see,
I want so badly to believe again...
I traded hope for questions,
and attached my faith to answers
only answers never came
and so my faith became a cancer
that infected every cell of me
that couldn't stand on blind belief,
but distance has been agony
....how could You love me still?
My desperate heart is finally at
a breaking point,
to choose a path
to follow or forsake the very thing I long to know.
And as I reflect on the things
that kept me back, the questionings
it all seems so extremely
ridiculous.
A prose that changes tempo,
without rhythm, without guile
seems the perfect way to tell you
just how foolish is this child
for thinking that my faith depended
on my understanding
or lack of...
but never Your love.
I walked so far in one direction,
to find that you pursued me all the way.
How comforting to know You don't
disqualify the doubting heart,
neither do you ask me to
retrace the steps I've strayed
for Your blood has been sufficient
to bridge the gap I made.
Thanks for meeting me at where I'm at,
in this place.
So I guess this non-poem is my (less than) biblical equivalent
of erecting a memorial, a epitomized monument
to Your faithfulness while I wandered
but what's lost is found,
at least today.
but when I look back on this meager non-poem
I'll remember
and I will praise.
