I want so much more than an emotion based relationship.
I don't want fluffy with you, because I know you have so much more. So much good. I just want to dive into your depths, to be refreshed by the simple act of meeting with you. And whats more, is I see you offering that to me.
I just get so caught up in the feeling of it all. Do I feel loved. Do I feel like I'm not alone. Do I feel sufficient enough to meet with you. Do I feel too tired today, because you should see me at my best.

I desire a real, raw, to the core relationship with you.
You are so full of mystery and of higher ways that I could never comprehend! There is no end to your depth, height, width, length... and I can spend my whole life exploring you. Learning you. Knowing you. Loving you! It's exciting. I have so much ground to cover I don't know where to start. And I see that you desire this too, this one-with-you journey. You have so much to give to me and pour into me and reveal to me. You're excited too! And you long for me to get past the shallow emotions. You cannot wait for me to experience you below the surface. You know I will never be satisfied with just a taste... I want the full meal! Every course. To sample every bit of your goodness, and also to endure the bitter tastes - by your side. RAW. DEEP. REAL.

Emotions shift so much. And relationships are far too often based on how those feelings fluctuate. But YOU! You are unchanging. You are the same as you were before time began, and You will be the same for eternity!  YOU are the constant I crave in my life. I don't want to waver with you. I don't want to only follow you when it feels good to. I want to share in your sufferings, knowing that it means I am dying to myself and truly knowing what it means to take up your cross. Hebrews 12:4 says "In your struggle with sin, you have not yet surrendered to the point of shedding your blood." Maybe I don't know what that looks like yet, but I know you have already claimed victory over the desires in my heart that are not of you. You are my constant through my whirling, up and down, crazy emotions. You are my constant when the lights go out and nothing can seem to penetrate the darkness. You are constant when fear and doubt overwhelm and YOU WILL OVERCOME! When my emotions rage on, I will put my trust in what is firm and unshaken and forever. I will put you in a place of steadfastness and go to you. I see you longing to hold that place, and man, do I want you there!

I see a journey ahead full of battles I am fighting and battles still to be fought. But yet, I am meeting you for the  first time as a Lover. I am meeting you for the first time as a Father. I am meeting you for the first time as a Guide. And I'm so excited to take this dive, this leap, this next step with you! I love you so much. I finally love you enough to say... just do your will. I'm so ready. Let's do this thing!!!

I was singing to my Jesus tonight... and as I drove my little car through the snow, He shared a little something with me... Sometimes, I ask Him why I don't have a really beautiful voice. In fact, I asked Him why, when worship makes His heart so happy, don't we all have seriously beautiful voices?

And then He reminded me how, no matter how one solitary voice sounds, no matter how off-key and pitchy we can all be, that when all of our so-so voices blend together, it sounds so beautiful! It doesn't even matter if we have beautiful or so-so voices, there is no sweeter sound to our Jesus than the sound of our hearts and voices mingled together in praise of Him!