Christmas Lights, and Other Beautiful Things...

Ever since I was a little girl, it has been a tradition of sorts to pack the family into the van and drive around town at Christmas to look at lights. It always brought such joy to see all the twinkling colors shining out, giving the dark, cold wintery nights that extra bit of warmth. It was always extra-exciting to see the house that went all-out, with almost every surface bright and cheerfully splayed with lights! Like I said - it just brought joy.

I drove around town with my brother and sister tonight, and much to my dismay, barely anyone hangs up Christmas lights these days. I suppose the hassle of untangling the wires and replacing the burnt out lights is too tedious, and with the unexpected manner in which Alberta weather just decides to wake up one day and be winter, some people just miss their opportunity. Even still, I was legitimately disappointed. It's kind of silly, right? I mean, Christmas lights are so simple...

I don't want to be a house that sits in the dark. And I'm jumping from talking about Christmas lights on a house to my relationship with God. I was to be 'THAT' house, the one that is just decked out, as a light of joy and warmth for Jesus. I never want to find untangling wires or replacing lightbulbs "too hard", but instead be working out the kinks and diligently mending the dim parts, so that I can glorify Him! I want people to pass me by and just feel welcomed in, because I have Jesus lighting me up from the inside out. I want that joy!

One of my favorite things about the Christmas story is the way in which Jesus came. I mean, this is God's son we are talking about. By all rights, he should have been treated as the King he is. But God had a point to make, and a huge part of his plan was to come in humility. And so, Jesus Christ, the one who saved my life and has given me more than I could ever ask or imagine, was born in a stable. A dirty, funky-smelling, tiny stable. He rested in a manger. He even spent his first night with regular people - shepherds. This is the amazing thing about what he did when he came to show us his love... he started out humble. He did exactly what his whole ministry was about, loving the "unimportant" people. Being born of an regular girl. Wow! This blows me away every time... he truly became the least for me, walked in flesh and felt every human emotion that I feel. I am so loved. You are so loved. God shows us so much love!

Christmas is so good. Tonight, I was just powerfully reminded of my God's love, and reminded that I don't want to be a house in the dark.  I love you Jesus!

The other beautiful thing is that tonight, I had one of those "happy"moments, just being in a place where I felt so much joy and contentment. I was on an 'adventure' with my brother and sister, just driving around. We passed a hill we used to go toboganning on, and wouldn't you know it, my brother just happened to have a gt-racer and a crazy carpet in his car. We slid and laughed and fell and it was just so good.

First semester is done, I have a wonderful boyfriend, my family is a blessing, and God is greater than it all!
Have a SUPER Merry Christmas as Jesus blesses you!!

A couple of weeks ago, I witnessed the last hours of a man's life. I didn't even know him, but it's the first Christmas his family will spend without him. It was a glaring reminder to me of the fact that Christmas can encapsulate just as much loss and pain as it can joy and good will. And in a way, Christmas is the physical beginning of a story filled with loss and pain. Christmas brought about the birth of the journey to the cross.

As I sit, in my comfortable home, with the pretty Christmas decorations and the good smelling food, I think about where my heart is at. Yesterday, I helped pack shoe boxes with Samaritans Purse, and I stood in one of the examples of the homes that Samaritans Purse is building in Haiti. Surrounded by the thin tarp walls, under the tin roof in a space smaller than my room, I was transported back in my mind to a place where faces stood raised the the heavens, praising God amidst loss. For just a moment, I was thrown back into a place where loss stalks about in big ways.

Philippians 3:7-8 says, "But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ." This Christmas, after 11 months of crisis and hardship and loss beyond belief, I know the hearts that will truly be saying these words.

And now I think of myself, and the things I wrestle God for; the things he is calling me to lose for his sake. Though my selfish drive to satisfy the desires of the flesh will never satisfy my craving for my Jesus, sometimes it's hard to unclench my fists from the things I am afraid to lose. And so, looking to the heavens, I wonder... am I allowed to grieve my losses? Jesus, is it okay that I am afraid?

I will sacrifice everything for you.