Sometimes, it's so easy to lose sight of the purpose of now, and in those moments my heart gets carried away with dreams and whispers... some that seem so impossible, that I am scared to even let my heart feel the extent of the pull. But yet, it exists, and sometimes even consumes.
I don't consider myself a patient person. I lack endurance. I rarely persevere or persist with things. In fact, I often wish that God would operate on my agenda. And honestly, the idea of waiting to pursue what I truly want to do is terrifying. The idea of taking a few years to gain valuable experience instead of just impulsively launching off to do the things I am passionate about actually scares me. And I know God is faithful. I know that if there is a wait that it will be worth it... perhaps even more abundantly than I can imagine. But it's so hard to settle my heart down. To put my heart into this sociology project instead of in the hands of a child. To love the group I am working on a project with instead of the kids I so long to hold.
Jesus... help me to invest my heart in now-things. To live the purpose that you have for me, even in this waiting place. Unite my heart to the needs here. Give me your heart and your eyes. Break mine in the ways it needs to be broken to do your kingdom work in this place and time, not with my eyes fixed on the next thing.
I just read this incredible book "Little Princes", an account of a young American man who went to Nepal, initially out of selfish motives... but God broke all of that. In a time when Nepal was experiencing civil war, children were trafficked, tricked out of their homes by the promises of "a better future and education" in exchange for a family's money. But this illusion was shattered when the men who took these children took the money for themselves and dumped the kids wherever they pleased. When this man saw what was happening in Nepal, his heart broke in an irreparable way and he couldn't walk away. He set up an NPO and went back to Nepal to pour his heart into getting these kids back to their families. His organization, Next Generation Nepal, is still reuniting families whose children were thought to be lost to traffickers.
After reading this touching account, my heart is breaking. It breaks because I want to do something about it.
And then today,a friend from Haiti posted a link to a blog that emphasized much of the same struggle: organizations that exploit children... It's Just a Business
God loves His children... if you are reading this, or if this is close to your heart... pray for these kids! If it stirs you to do more... than may God lead and direct each step that follows... who knows where opening your heart to dream Kingdom dreams will take you! And God is faithful in all things. Whether it's a waiting place, or in the midst of the dream come to pass!
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