I can fight for this because I know I have you. And I know in you the victory is already won but I tend to feel like I haven't begun when your work is so far from completion. My head knows that you have a purpose, but lately it's just felt so worthless because I have no answers for what that is right now.

And maybe that's the point.

This just feels like the breaking part. And that's okay, because I gave you my heart, and I know if you can get me past the start then and only then I might stand a chance. I long in you to be satisfied, to lay down my flesh and swallow my pride and just stop making these plans that are less than what you have. It's just so hard to let it go, to fall into your depths and in my heart know that I'll come out okay in the end. Surrender. Why is that word so intimidating when everything that you are breaking is taking me that much closer to your throne?

You will fulfill your purpose for me, I read that today and now I see that this desert is part of your perfect plan. I don't know all the hows and whys, but I know you've heard my heart-wrenched cries and in them, you are working something more marvelous than I could comprehend. And it doesn't mean I have to know the outcome, and I'm not even worthy enough to grasp what you are taking me through, I just pray you'd give me enough to get there. Not enough that I'd perceive it as my strength, but just enough to get through the day so I can attribute every step I've taken to your glory. Because that's what this is all about anyways, to through our lives give you praise for your all-encompassing love and unending grace.

You've seen every hope I hold, so Jesus, if I may be so bold, I ask that you'll maybe fulfill those too... And if my hope is set below what you would have, I pray you'd show me the way to relinquish it all to you. I just want to delight in you, to know that what you offer will satisfy me in ways I've never known.