For a long time, I've blamed the church for it's faults. I never meant to finger point, but I've always wondered why the church that God loves so much is functioning so opposite of the way God intended it to. I don't understand why our agenda has, in some ways, altered focus from glorifying God and service to each other into focus on ourselves.
I love the idea of the church, universally, as one body. Some people make up the fingers, serving with their hands, some people serve by going into the world as the feet. Still more people listen to the painful stories of hurting hearts as the ears, some people see the good in everyone as the eyes... and our Lord, Jesus Christ, is the head of the church. It's so hard to see something that could be so effective as one body functioning together tearing itself apart. Thumbs oppose the pinkies and the pointers, feet can't agree on which direction to go, ears choose not to hear what they don't want to hear, and eyes are closed to the hurt and the good in people.
God still loves the church, and indeed the church does still serve the purpose of sharing the gospel and of being a place to corporately worship, but sometimes I wonder why it stops there. (Please do not misunderstand me - I do not believe the church is corrupt, nor do I believe that this occurs in every single church!)
The thing that gets me is God loves the church, but we don't seem to be an outlet of that love in the way that God intended. It's in the way that people are walking into churches and not being welcomed by anybody. It's in the way that people can have been attending a church for years and still be asked, "Is this your first time worshipping with us?" It's in the way that no matter how hard people try to become involved, they can still be left on the outside.
Why?
Another thing that bothers me about the church is the politics. The judgment. Instead of focusing on the heart of worship, we focus on the clothes someone wears. Instead of reaching out to those hurting, maybe with divorce, homosexuality, sexual sin... we turn them away. I'm guilty of going to church on Sunday and putting on a face, pretending like me and God are in such a good place, when really, God and I haven't talked in months; and I don't think it is unfair of me to assume that this is the case with many more people. What I don't get is why I can't be comfortable to go to God's house and share that I am struggling, I am hurting, and to receive encouragement and accountability. Instead, under God's own roof, we cast judgment. We can't show weakness in the church, we can't misrepresent God, so instead we tell those people that THEY AREN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR GOD. And we wonder why there are so many bitter hearts in the world? Can you imagine what church would be like if we went with our sins written on our shirts? How many kindred strugglers would we find to fight the battle with?!
I believe so strongly that God intended the church to be a place of acceptance and of love, where when you walk in you are greeted, and people ask about your week, and they want to know where you are at, and they want to pray for you and be a part of your walk. I believe He longs for us to go out in the world with urgency for souls, not intending to "sell" them on anything, but instead introduce them to His love and let Him do the rest.
I have long held the faults in the church in my heart. The church hurt me. It has hurt people I love. I remember dreading going to Sunday School because I was an outcast, never being a part of "Purple Sundays" or the adventures every other girl had gone on the week before- the adventures I had never been invited to. But I still love the church, because God loves the church, and He loves me.
The church has faults, but what I realize now, is the problem lies in me. I'm too scared of rejection and judgment that I still put on my Sunday morning face. I don't welcome people to church. I don't pursue loving a good percentage of the people God puts on my heart. And how can I find fault in people with a self-pleasing agenda when I clearly have one to serve myself as well?
The problem is me, but I can change things. Maybe not universally, maybe not even in my church. But maybe for at least one person who felt like I once did.
And I think that's worth it.
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