An Agent of the Most High.

I am a field agent.
No? You don't believe me? I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. For how could you? It's not like I can run a mere 200 meters without fighting to maintain decent oxygen levels in my lungs. My idea of weight lifting is getting my dirty clothes from the floor to the hamper. And true, the only kind of flipping I can do involves a spatula and a pancake, and even that can get messy. I realize I am everything opposite of what a field agent should be,
emotional,
weak,
and constantly vulnerable to attack.

But none of that matters.

I have been given a mission, a mission I must accept because my life depends on it. The lives of others depend on it. I'm not talking tight ropes and shark tanks. No, it's much more important than that.

I serve a Commander who does not operate with high-tech equipment and specially coded messages. His message does not self-destruct in ten seconds, but instead has stood for all of time. He is not displeased by failure, instead compassionate and forgiving when you cause a mission to go awry. My Commander does not send me out alone. He fights alongside me.

Everytime I go to my desk these days, my mission seems to be bigger. It's as if each new assignment is more impossible than the last. My current assignment came this morning, hand-delivered by the Commander Himself. He watched as I flipped through the pages, my eyes widening as I took in the task He had set before me.

"I can't do this." I gasped. It was simply too much for a single agent to take on alone. My Commander looked at me, and quietly said "I believe you can, you just need to trust me."
My mouth dropped. He was serious! "But... you don't understand... this is so BIG."
He touched me lightly on the shoulder and kindly countered "Ah... but so am I."
Left alone in my office with my new assignment limply in hand, I stared numbly out the window. Where could I even start? There was so much to be done.

It was then that the lights flickered. The whole building seemed to go silent, until the red alarm on the wall started flashing as a sharp wail grew. Intruders! I raced to the door and threw it open, staring right into the faces of our unwelcome visitors.

Discouragement had found me. It seems these scumbags always know right where to look. He had brought
Inadequate and Hopelessness with him. Did they always have to come in numbers? Discouragement took advantage of my hesitation and landed a hard punch to my nose. Eyes watering, I swung two weak punches that barely connected his way. That gave time for Inadequate to jump on my back and pull me over onto the desk, flailing all the way down. Hopelessness got a hold of my head and slammed it onto my coffee mug. I kicked blindly as I fought back the spots that had appeared in front of my eyes. I was slowly losing conciousness... "Commander..." I choked out before the black could consume me. "Save me..."

When I finally came around, the Commander was beside me, dabbing a cool cloth across my forehead. Discouragement, Inadequate and Hopelessness lay sprawled on the floor, bound and tied and looking rather worse for wear.
"You should have trusted me." He reprimanded me, and I nodded sheepishly. "Now, lets get you up, you have some work to do."

He looked over the file with me. As I pointed to the objectives that seemed out of reach, he granted me wisdom and peace only a Commander who has been-there-done-that can. As we read it over together, the impossible became accomplishable, the out of reach seemed to be in sight. Our strategy was flawless. for He would be the strength in the areas that I was so weak in. You know, the running, flipping, weight lifting, emotion controlling kinds of areas.

Turns out, we did just fine. The mission wasn't without a hitch, but that was partly due to my fleeting doubt at those high intensity moments. Throughout the assignment, My Commander was patient when I fumbled, and reassuring when I felt afraid.

I've been an agent a pretty long time, but only now am I beginning to truly see what it takes, and to finally discover the purpose that the Commander has for me. It's taking time, but it's icredible to see what can be accomplished when I have stopped saying "I can't" and started saying "I will!"

I am a field agent.
I am called to do everything in love, and to be a witness to the ends of the earth. Sometimes, the Commander calls me to take on missions that seem big, and almost always, His plans are much different than my own. But my Commander has proven bigger than every mission, any monster, and through it all, able to use a weakling like me! It is a priveledge to serve under such a loving Commander, and to take up the cross to live in His Almighty Name.

I am a field agent.
I will strive to fight the battles of an apathetic world
I will strive to love purposefully and relentlessly.
I will witness to a world that needs a Savior.
I will serve the Commander until the end of my days.